1.
Make sure you have one. There is a
difference between a strong-willed child and
a weak-willed parent.
2.
If you have a strong-willed child, you are
not to blame for the temperament with which
your child was born. He is simply a tough
kid to handle, and your task is to rise to
the challenge.
3.
He is in greater danger because of
his inclination to test the limits and scale
the walls. If you say something is true,
your child says, "Maybe, maybe not. I
want to experience it for myself." Your
strong-willed child will call your bluff.
Your utmost diligence and wisdom will be
required to deal with him.
4.
If you fail to understand his lust for power
and independence, you can exhaust you
resources and bog down in guilt. Exhaustion
and guilt will benefit no one.
5.
If it is not already too late, by all means,
take charge of your babies. Hold tightly to
the reins of authority in the early days,
and build an attitude of respect during your
brief window of opportunity. You will need
every ounce of "awe" you can get
during the years to come. Once you have
established your right to lead, begin to let
go systematically, year by year.
6.
A strong-willed child likes to help make
decisions. When possible give your child
choices. "Would you like to have a
chocolate chip cookie or strawberry ice
cream?" Give them projects in which
they can take charge, like planning the
family vacation. A strong-willed child
doesn't want to control you; he just wants
you to allow him some control.
7.
A strong-willed child will only comply with
rules or laws when they make sense. Give
them a solid reason for a rule.
8.
A strong-willed child wants to feel unique
and special. He does not want to be
ordinary. He struggles against the confines
of traditions and conformity.
9.
Stay on your child's team, even when it
appears to be a losing team. You'll
have the rest of your life to enjoy mutual
fellowship if you don't overreact to
frustration now.
10.
Don't panic, even during the storms of
adolescence. Better times are ahead. A
radical turnaround usually occurs in the
early 20s.
11.
Give him time to find himself, even if he
appears not to be searching.
12.
Most importantly, I urge you to hold your
children before the Lord in fervent prayer
throughout their years at home. I am
convinced that there is no other source of
confidence and wisdom in parenting. There is
not enough knowledge in the books to
counteract the evil that surrounds our kids
today. We must bathe them in prayer every
day of their lives. The God who made our
children will hear your petitions. He
has promised to do so. After all, He loves
them more than you do.
Concepts
taken from James Dobson (Focus on the
Family)
and from Cynthia Tobias (The Way They
Learn)
