| Myth: |
A
really caring mother would never give up her
child and you don't deserve to be a mother
if you choose adoption. |
| Fact: |
A
mother who unselfishly creates an adoption
plan for her child is placing her child's
best interest above her own. It is an
ultimate sacrifice for a mother to choose
life for her child and realize what is best
for her child. Adoption is a caring and
responsible process that is as natural and
loving as parenting. |
| |
| Myth: |
My
child will hate me. |
| Fact: |
You
design your own unique adoption plan,
allowing you to share as little or as much
information as you desire about yourself and
your decision. You gave your child the gift
of life, and put your child's needs first.
This will be explained to your child as he
or she gets older. "My biological
mother was in high school when she was
pregnant with me. I'm sure she felt she was
not capable of providing me with everything
she wanted me to have and decided that
adoption would be the best choice for the
both of us... My (adoptive) parents are the
best thing that has ever happened to me, and
I could not imagine my life any other way. I
am constantly reminded of the wonderful,
selfless choice my birthparents made by
choosing adoption for me. I have had an
abundant life full of many opportunities
that I may not have otherwise been able to
enjoy, including world travel, education,
activities and religion. I was raised in a
very loving home, and I continue to be
extremely close to my parents today. I have
never felt any void in my life or felt
differently in any way because of being
adopted." Jackie, adopted child, age 24 |
| |
| Myth: |
Adoption
is an irresponsible solution to an unplanned
pregnancy. |
| Fact: |
Adoption
requires a strong and responsible person. Do
not feel guilty for considering adoption or
think of parenting as a deserved punishment
for your unplanned pregnancy. Making the
choice for your child to be raised in an
environment that can provide the things you
are not able to at this time is very brave
and responsible. |
| |
| Myth: |
Adopted
children grow up with more problems than
children who are not adopted. |
| Fact: |
Adopted
children do as well as or better than their
non-adopted counterparts. A 1994 study by
the Search Institute examining adopted
adolescents concluded some of the following
facts: Adopted children score higher than
their middle-class peers on indicators of
school performance and social competence.
Adopted adolescents generally are less
depressed than children of single parents
and are less involved in alcohol abuse,
vandalism, fighting, police trouble, use of
weapons, and theft. On health measures,
adopted children score higher than children
raised by single parents. Compared with the
general child population, children placed
with adoptive couples are better off
economically and adoptive parents are less
likely to divorce. (Taken from Adoption: The
Best Option by Patrick Fagan) |
| |
| Myth: |
Nobody
can love a child as much as a biological
parent. |
| Fact: |
While
it is true that a biological parent holds
tremendous love for their child, it is not a
matter of biology. It is not inherited. An
adopted couple's love for your child is the
result of a lot of effort and desire to be a
parent. Adoptive parents have a true love
and devotion to the child they adopt because
they realize what a blessing it is to have a
child in their lives. "Our children can
learn that...the concept of 'family' does
not rest solely on biology. They can learn
that love transcends many artificial
boundaries frequently put into place by
humans. They can learn that closing one door
can open another door and another and
another"...Caroline Harding, adoptive
mother (Adoption-Is Another Word for Love,
2000). |
| |
| Myth: |
I
will have to say good bye and will never
hear from my child again or know how they
are doing. |
| Fact: |
This
has been true in the past when all adoptions
were closed and the child was taken from the
birth mother and she had to live the rest of
her life never knowing what became of her
child. Today, you can create your own
adoption plan which can make it possible for
you to select your child's adoptive parents
and meet them. You can choose to stay in
touch while your child is growing up by
receiving pictures and letters which can
ensure that you made the right decision for
your child. Open adoptions even allow you to
stay in touch with phone calls and possibly
even occasional visits. |
